Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

Healthy Unhealthy
Trust Lacks trust; jealousy may be present
Honesty; spontaneity Abuser only sees what he/she wants to see, and deceives the significant other and self.
Openness Abuser is closed, private, unwilling to share anything about one’s own thoughts, wants and emotions.
Open Communication Messages are closed, unclear and one-sided.
Understanding No effort is made to become aware of the significant other’s needs, feelings, or wants.
Flexibility/Compromise Inflexible; compromise only occurs when abuser’s demands are met, or when the abuser is trying to make up after abuse has occurred.
Clear Boundaries Boundaries are unclear, diffuse as if both partners are one; victims sacrifices all identity and individuality.
Respect The belief exists that one partner is godlike while the other is worthless. Respect is demanded by abuser, but abuser gives none in return.
Freedom of Choice Partner is pressured for physical activity or commitment.
Development of self as first priority There is obsession with finding someone to love.
Balance of mutuality in the relationship Imbalances of power exist.

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