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Trust |
Lacks trust; jealousy may be present |
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Honesty; spontaneity |
Abuser only sees what he/she wants to see, and deceives the significant other and self. |
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Openness |
Abuser is closed, private, unwilling to share anything about one’s own thoughts, wants and emotions. |
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Open Communication |
Messages are closed, unclear and one-sided. |
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Understanding |
No effort is made to become aware of the significant other’s needs, feelings, or wants. |
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Flexibility/Compromise |
Inflexible; compromise only occurs when abuser’s demands are met, or when the abuser is trying to make up after abuse has occurred. |
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Clear Boundaries |
Boundaries are unclear, diffuse as if both partners are one; victims sacrifices all identity and individuality. |
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Respect |
The belief exists that one partner is godlike while the other is worthless. Respect is demanded by abuser, but abuser gives none in return. |
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Freedom of Choice |
Partner is pressured for physical activity or commitment. |
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Development of self as first priority |
There is obsession with finding someone to love. |
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Balance of mutuality in the relationship |
Imbalances of power exist. |